糜爛再糜爛!高登瓊姐《衝上雲霄》影評潮文

文:
2015.02.22

文:陸師弟

話咁快就初四,大家今年睇左幾多套賀歲片啊?咁多套戲中《衝上雲霄》開畫前是其中一部最令人期待的電影,可惜不少朋友看完後都大歎「電影不似預期」!。昨天赤口,網上紅人「高登天后瓊姐【慈雲山鄭列瓊】 」於facebook專頁寫影評大彈《衝上雲霄》,稱該片應該見好就收!影評雖然含有粗口字眼,但內容幽默,仍受不少網民讚好,上載不足一天已獲4000多likes;但留言中也有朋友指各花入各眼,為電影平反。

影評原文如下:

影評:
糜爛再糜爛-衝上雲霄:見好就收啦

【瓊姐赤口開年】初三赤口,大家估下我會同邊個開年?無錯,就係【衝上雲霄】呢套垃圾。無錯,係垃圾!係我近年睇過最垃圾既戲,沒有之一!

嗱你唔好問我:「垃圾你又睇?」「你無睇trailer架?」,因為我都係被迫睇呢套垃圾,原因有:1)叮噹爆晒場;2)同行有小朋友,廢事睇Fifty shades of grey同12金鴨;3)唔想睇強國幅射喜羊羊;4)衝上雲霄應該唔會垃圾得過套浮華宴掛?5)同行友人見到sam哥同cool魔就出晒水

結果係:我輸左!我低估左呢套衝上雲霄,垃圾戲黎講,佢居然超額完成!!其實見到【鄒凱光】呢3隻字我已經心知不妙,我已經稍為調低我對套戲既expectations。點解呀?點解睇親鄒凱光都中伏?

一)故事散修修 亳無連貫性
我睇完套垃圾既感覺就係:我係咪睇左3套mv定音樂特輯?睇睇下古天樂同阿佘,無啦啦跳左去sam哥度,幾條愛情線完全無交集,求其炒埋一碟,人地外國十幾年前Love Actually咪又係咁玩,點解人地果套戲玩到變經典,香港電影就搞到咁柒?

二)掛羊頭賣狗肉?
我話佢「掛羊頭賣狗肉」已經好客氣。睇完電視版,我都唔expect你會focus航空業,sell下d飛機幾靚果d,呀居然成套戲講飛機既情節連5分鐘 都唔知有無,出場最多咪就係鄭秀文心口條第三跑道。ok,你賣情情塔塔丫嘛,呀屌你,居然連用黎賣狗肉既愛情線都可以弱雞到咁,除左床戲同打車輪,就仍然 係床戲同打車輪(鍥而不捨堅持著住飛機服黎搞野果下好野)。情節仲要極度老土,有句核突對白「我做你條安全帶囉」嘩我頂你個肺成底蘿蔔榚都比我嘔出黎,呢 d對白我阿婆都識作啦!最過份係張智霖同郭采潔,佢兩個可以話係負火花,似父女多d。咁你話喇,掛羊頭又唔係,賣狗肉又唔係,你話呢套垃圾究竟賣乜?

三)同電視版毫無關連
唔係隔離飯香,但日本果d「劇轉戲」真係做得好好,交響情人夢呀,螢之光呀果d。香港呢?成日推翻電視版設定,做乜要加鄭秀文同古天樂落去,你加唔緊要, 加新角色你都要交代下啦?再唔係仲衰,個角色一樣但同電視版果個完全無關連,嘩電影版個sam哥同電視版果個都唔同既屌你!好驚呀!而家你叫觀眾點投入 先?呢d基本野唔係要觀眾教番你呀編劇們導演們?雖則電視版既續集已經好垃圾,無馬神同陳慧珊既衝上雲霄根本唔係衝上雲霄。

仲記得2003年睇衝上雲霄真係好深刻,意大利取景勁壯觀,大個聽到人講衝上雲霄呢套劇,一定會加把咀講:係呀呢套劇勁正!到上幾年套劇拍續集,人面全 非,到到呢部電影版,我可以宣布,經過後人糜爛再糜爛,再次斷定「續集實仆街」呢個黃金定律。衝上雲霄呢四隻字已經比人玩到臭晒,掛住呢四隻字吸金,已經 比人吸乾吸淨,邊個香港觀眾再比呢四隻字呃錢,記住叫我鬧醒佢。

以上!我好少寫影評,但睇完呢套垃圾,一踏出UA門口我已經決定要寫篇文。我在此呼籲大家要珍惜光陰,唔想浪費生命既,決定睇呢套戲之前絕對要三思。再比我揀多次,我一定搭車番屋企睇第2173383287次家有喜事(1992年版)。回水呀仆街!

影評原文:

https://www.facebook.com/iamkingjer/photos/a.229707817101090.55175.169934393078433/818085148263351/?type=1

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