大家都已經成長到一個弱智唔起嘅年紀…

文:
2015.11.19

文: 藍橘子

  

最近非常流行一張合照,六個人手扣住手,擺出一顆六芒星形狀,個樣仲要超有夢想。第一次睇到,我就覺得呢個合照方式簡直係為我而設!於是,我立即Send幅圖去朋友Group!
 
「我好想要六芒星啊!幾時影返張?」
 
起初大家都好熱烈咁討論,究竟邊個應該企咩位?每隔一陣我都會問「咁即係幾時影啫?」但佢哋都無回應我…
 
原來佢哋以為我只係想開心Share。當我話「其實我認真想影一幅…」,佢哋態度就180度轉變…
 
「你講真㗎?咁白痴,畀公司同事見到點算。」朋友A咁講。
 
「我老婆見到會同我離婚。」朋友B拿老婆做擋箭牌。
 
「我仲洗見人嘅?」朋友C突然顧及形象。
 
「朋友D已閱讀」朋友D一向已讀不回。

「其實我都係講吓笑啫,我而家假假地都係一個寫故佬,仲要靠塊面口搵食。」我回應打圓場。
 
但其實,我心入面覺得好失望,到底我以前班弱智無極限嘅痴線朋友去晒邊?以前就算同屋企人嘈交,離家出走每個朋友屋企輪流住幾日,直頭仲開心過留喺屋企。
 
而家莫講話通宵,好多身邊朋友頭像都轉晒結婚相甚至家庭合照,就算想話約出黎食餐飯都難。
 
最記得一次喺學校,成班痴線朋友做事根本唔會思前顧後。朋友A竟然話自己因為驚鬼,所以未睇過回魂夜,於是我哋第日就決定Lunch偷偷哋潛入禮堂,用投影機播周星馳《回魂夜》。
 
最後訓導主任聽到禮堂有聲被人捉到正一正,星爺喺呢個時候大叫:「定啲黎!大家當無事發生,我哋女照溝、舞照跳!」連訓導主任都呆一呆忍唔住笑,最後當然畀人罰到阿媽都唔認得,呢件事我哋每次食飯都會講返起。
 
朋友B覺得用濕紙巾扔上課室天花板已經唔夠興奮,所以用珍珠奶茶嘅珍珠,直接用飲管吸入口,再射上風扇,睇吓邊個唔好彩。
 
《小王子》入面有句說話:「每個大人都曾是小孩。」
但當年紀越大,越覺得自己已經成長,覺得某啲事已經唔再應該做。
大家都已經成長到一個弱智唔起嘅年紀…
 
我唯有自己做…
我由衷希望自己,可以有弱智一世。

 

本篇圖文獲作者藍橘子授權刊登,未經准許,請勿轉載!
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