去旅行?我剩係識去長洲

文:
2016.02.26

文:P's:虐心者

 

一條友onXX又孤身寡人,又冇女朋友,又冇錢,我係一個典型既香港打工仔,廿歲左右,平時收左工剩係識得打機,除左返工之外完全唔會離開個屋企,最遠都只會去到屋企樓下間茶記食個男人的浪漫,偶然食個M記,每一餐基乎都係出街食,如果你問我呢個毒家村去旅行會去邊。

我只可以答你:「sorry,我最遠剩係識去長洲。」

A問道:「嗯……咁你有冇咩其他地方係想去既。」

「南丫島,梅窩,挪亞方舟,我都想去。」

「……,……」

真係唔好意思,只可以話我真係大鄉里出城,事關我完全唔想整護照,訂機票,搵旅行社。最遠黎講我剩係識去長洲,食個特大魚蛋,芒果糯米糍,踩下單車,然後住番個兩日一夜既渡假屋,對我黎講已經算係去左一次旅行。你要知道,我平時最遠都只係去到屋企樓下間茶記,今次要搭船離島,仲要撘地鐵要轉站,仲唔係去旅行係去咩啊。

「台灣!日本!韓國!夏威夷!巴黎!」

我仲未講出我心裡面一大堆肺腑之言,辛酸毒在家中不出門之史,圍坐係我隔離既朋友己經將去長洲哩個話題撤除,轉到佢他彼此認同既旅行熱門勝地,然之後一輪嘴係度講個唔停。
冇錯!佢地直頭已經可以成為高上…旅行專家,憑住佢地朋友再朋友再朋友既出國旅行經歷,選購旅行社的竅門,就住去旅行哩個topic至少可以講三個鐘頭。

我真係一個名一副其實既毒燃,我只係可以坐係佢地中間,一路聽住佢地講台妹有幾正,夏威夷有幾多個比堅尼索女,一路諗住下次去南丫島定梅窩好。

 

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