每年派花紅前夕,總有一場腥風血雨

文:
2016.01.29

圖:Flickr@jlcwalker

年尾流流係辭職高峰期。然而每年派花紅之前,一場腥風血雨是難以避免的。

今朝老闆一入公司門口,就黑晒口面咁話15分鐘後緊急Staff meeting,急到好似跌停牌咁。入到會議室,老闆突然訓導主任上身:「我真係好唔滿意你哋呢Team人嘅表現。你呀!平時咪叫咗你唔好同我爭Printer用,見到我影印你仲夠膽印嘢?咩叫尊重老闆識唔識呀?仲有你呀,D遮晾晒喺會議室到而家都未收返,成個行政部要嚟做咩架?」咁都有得鬧?「你最近做少咗運動呀?一個月請兩日病假,係咪當固定公司假期呀吓?仲有呀,我咪講咗呢個月嘅Report要今朝前做好,你哋一個二個就真係琴晚臨放工先嚟做,可唔可以上心D?阿叔當年我一個頂十個,晚晚做到十二點放工……(下刪好多字)。」

逐個鬧勻晒之後,佢終於都入正題:「嗰D都算喇。嗱,咪話我唔同你哋講定先,今年公司業績麻麻架咋,所以花紅大家唔好期望咁高。」

哦~~~~~~~~~~明晒。

道理就同每年大學生畢業季節,就總有D報章媒體話而家D打壞大學生幾咁嬌生慣養、幾咁唔捱得一樣:唔出多幾篇唱衰你咃,點壓低大學生嘅起薪點呢?同樣道理,唔搵D嘢質多你兩句、彈吓你今年表現,點解釋出得咁少花紅?

開完會,大家頭耷耷出返嚟,幾經辛苦等到下晝派彩。上文提要,一個月搵萬五蚊係唔夠洗嘅,於是今年,公司加咗我足足五‧舊‧水人工,升幅達3.3%,所以以後都要改口:「搵萬五零五百蚊人工,仲講咩人生意義?!」翻查資料,2015年嘅通脹率係2.5%,加幅都算跑贏大市架。老闆仲話:「今年你份花紅有兩個半月糧,公司都對你唔錯啦係咪?」嘩真係開心到差D感動流涕咁無咩事我返出去做嘢先喇。

返埋位,打開封信睇真D……咦喂?!咩「0.5個月」呀?原來其實所謂「花紅」入面,有一個月係Contract傾好咗嘅雙糧,另一個月係本身一月份嘅糧,真正花紅只係得半個月,只係同一日銀行過數咁解……真係皇恩浩蕩,謝主隆恩!睇嚟今個月食飯都係繼續嗌熱飲,你知啦凍飲要加兩蚊架嘛……

 

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