[網傳熱文]《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》(二)

文:
2015.01.14

 

>> 續上文《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》(一)

我本來呢,就以為以呀Jolly姐既身份加上佢見過鬼應該怕黑應該唔撚會再黎搵我啦掛,我後來真係覺得太傻太天真太樂觀,因為呀Jolly係癲到得閒度有熱誠度每日,係每日好撚準時咁係lunch hour打黎問我今晚有無dating 

Jolly係好撚搞鬼,佢係唔會直接問佢有無dating,而你亦都唔可以直接答佢話今晚有dating叫佢黎,你話今晚有呀你黎唔黎?佢會當堂屌撚柒你 以為我依家好想去你果d爛鬼dating呀?你以為你地公司有咩好呀,上次件事呀,你知唔知,搞到我要去睇心理醫生呀 

屌屌屌屌屌,我就真係就黎要去心理醫生呀Jolly姐你有無好介紹呀仆街? 

每次同佢傾電話,都係要搞盡心思好似tum女上床咁乞求佢去,佢老母咁你話點解唔答佢無?因為答無仲撚大鍋,佢就會打俾我事頭婆然後又再loop一次佢被 人非禮果單野問我事頭婆知唔知刑事起訴係限期架,你地唔好以為過一排我就會無左件事呀,我同你講,我無原諒過你地架,係你地叫我俾次機會你地架咋,我依家 都係觀察中,睇下你地有無誠意咁,如果俾我發現你地係無既話,唯有法庭見架咋 

我屌,我有時諗,我真係寧願坐監都唔想再咁樣被佢折磨。我有一次真係絕望到問我事頭婆,其實我地係咪被人玩定係中左天仙局? 

咁講返同呀Jolly講電話,係要好有技巧,佢通常打黎既開場白就係 
1.
喂,你係咪打過俾我? 
2.
點解你地公司做野咁架? 
3.
上次叫你講過d野你有無做架? 

而我必須要咁答: 
1.
哦係呀係呀 
2.
對唔住呀,我地會盡力做返好 
3.
有架有架,跟緊架啦 

住就要同佢講一輪唔撚那更既野啦,包括梁振英施政,雙非孕婦,Chanel no.5邊度有得賣,Hermes新一季有咩新款,D自由行好貴乞人憎,然後就要乞求佢話呀Jolly姐,我地今晚呢係邊度邊度有個dating喎,不如 你考慮下有無興趣黎呀,如果有既話我可以安排一下,而通常佢都係話無架喎,但佢又唔係真係唔會黎架喎,因為通常係開始之前既半個鐘度啦,佢就會話自己咁岩 係附近同friend食完飯無野做好得閒咁又咁岩諗起我地公司,於是就會賞面光臨

話說事頭婆送俾Jolly姐個plan我地公司裡面俗稱叫廚房plan,喻意sit灶啦,係專比d萬年老姑婆用,亦因為個plan咁撚強橫,Jolly姐亦得以橫行曬係幾乎我地公司既所有佢合資格既dating裡面 

多人果d我都由佢,佢老母系有時三對三咁佢又要叉隻腳,屌佢咩,咪變左唔對稱囉,搞到我地成日被人嘈,但又有乜計,佢癲架嘛 

如是者搞左好似都有成半年有多,我果排真係生不如死,後尾終於有一位阿生打救左我,我真係到依家都好感激佢,而佢亦都係我人生裡面其中一個最撚佩服既男人

話說果日我又乞求到Jolly姐賞面光臨,咁我通常都會成隻狗咁係門口度heheheahea咁恭迎佢,而佢條仆街亦都會好準時咁遲到半粒鐘 

咁果日係一個比較多人既event黎,即係會有MC玩下game然後輪盤咁換台果d 
咁呀Jolly姐去到之後人地就玩緊game架啦,佢老母臭系真係無句好口,一入到摺一聲,仲要摺到好撚大聲,然後話:咦,咁鬼多人,污煙瘴氣 

嘩屌,我真係想兜巴昇柒佢老母臭系,即係我已經唔介意被佢當狗咁屌,但係佢咁樣真係好影響其他人,最緊要係好影響到我份工呀嘛 

咁人地玩緊game,佢講完句野又唔郁又唔剩,企撚左係度扭下扭下咁,老母系呀,佢拮起條尾我都知佢想點啦,咁我點呀,咪九秒九咁衝過去話呀Jolly姐,大家玩緊game喎,不如你都黎玩吓啦 

唉玩就玩啦,無無聊聊咁 

我果陣開始有D明白點解古時D太監大部份都心理變態,即係如果我日日都要服侍個咁撚西既女人呢,我真係遲早痴線,但係係果晚,我人生迎黎左轉機,因為係果晚,有個男人,呀,唔係,係男神,打撚左Jolly姐一巴,係,係兜巴車左落去佢老母系塊面度 

陣我記得應該係玩到ice breaking差唔多最後一隻game,咁隻game係有少少身體接觸既,真係好少好少揸下手仔咁上下架咋,但係你知Jolly姐係幾咁身嬌肉貴架啦, 咁其實當我醒起run到呢隻game果陣,我都哎呀左一聲,個心仔都啵啵咁跳望撚實呀Jolly姐大佬保你大唔好又搞事 

咁話說呀Jollypartner,就係果位男人中既男人,咁Jolly姐都係扭扭拎拎掂下手仔又喂又剩啦,跟住呀男神生呢,嘩,佢一野fing開左Jolly姐隻手仔,然後好撚不羈咁屌左一聲:麻撚煩 

我果下真係媽大口呆撚左,你地明唔明果種又好撚開心但係又好撚擔心既既感覺? 

但係,但係咩呢,我果吓我望到呀Jolly姐個樣真係呢,佢直程係嬲到我見到佢額頭d青筋係跳下跳下咬撚牙根條頸果d筋呀乜撚都出曬黎好似就黎要爆咁,跟住佢果隻指住呀男神生既手指震下震下咁,嘩你知唔知我果個moment幾撚驚?

你講咩呀 

Jolly
姐指撚住呀男神生黎屌,已經係全場人望到實一實,我聽到Jolly姐係嬲到聲都變撚埋,但係呀男神生係理都無撚理過佢 

然後呀Jolly姐就開始控制唔到自己啦,我真係唔知佢黎緊MM都無撚得黎,佢癲到捉撚住人地隻手用手指篤撚住人地下巴人地塊面黎屌,我諗果下Jolly姐應該有諗過將呀男神生分屍 

跟住就黎上帝顯靈既一幕啦,其實我個人黎講啦就唔同意打女人,咁但係呢如果係話有條友咁撚沙poJolly姐都夠膽打既話,咁又唔撚同喎 

話說呀男神生被呀Jolly姐捉住黎屌之後,電光火石間佢一巴車左落去Jolly姐塊面度,我諗果個moment情況真係好撚危急,如果唔係呀男神生係唔會一巴打到呀Jolly姐連塊面D粉飛出黎 

之後發生既事我唔係好記得啦,因為果一巴之後我係成個都進入了一種恍恍惚惚既狀態,我淨係記得呀男神生好撚瀟灑頭也不回咁攞袋走左,然後呀MC係被塊面被Jolly姐刮左幾下既同時攔住左佢無搞出人命 

然後你估Jolly姐點呀......

未完!格式所限,按此 >>繼續收看《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》 (三)

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