[網傳熱文]《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》(二)

文:
2015.01.14

 

>> 續上文《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》(一)

我本來呢,就以為以呀Jolly姐既身份加上佢見過鬼應該怕黑應該唔撚會再黎搵我啦掛,我後來真係覺得太傻太天真太樂觀,因為呀Jolly係癲到得閒度有熱誠度每日,係每日好撚準時咁係lunch hour打黎問我今晚有無dating 

Jolly係好撚搞鬼,佢係唔會直接問佢有無dating,而你亦都唔可以直接答佢話今晚有dating叫佢黎,你話今晚有呀你黎唔黎?佢會當堂屌撚柒你 以為我依家好想去你果d爛鬼dating呀?你以為你地公司有咩好呀,上次件事呀,你知唔知,搞到我要去睇心理醫生呀 

屌屌屌屌屌,我就真係就黎要去心理醫生呀Jolly姐你有無好介紹呀仆街? 

每次同佢傾電話,都係要搞盡心思好似tum女上床咁乞求佢去,佢老母咁你話點解唔答佢無?因為答無仲撚大鍋,佢就會打俾我事頭婆然後又再loop一次佢被 人非禮果單野問我事頭婆知唔知刑事起訴係限期架,你地唔好以為過一排我就會無左件事呀,我同你講,我無原諒過你地架,係你地叫我俾次機會你地架咋,我依家 都係觀察中,睇下你地有無誠意咁,如果俾我發現你地係無既話,唯有法庭見架咋 

我屌,我有時諗,我真係寧願坐監都唔想再咁樣被佢折磨。我有一次真係絕望到問我事頭婆,其實我地係咪被人玩定係中左天仙局? 

咁講返同呀Jolly講電話,係要好有技巧,佢通常打黎既開場白就係 
1.
喂,你係咪打過俾我? 
2.
點解你地公司做野咁架? 
3.
上次叫你講過d野你有無做架? 

而我必須要咁答: 
1.
哦係呀係呀 
2.
對唔住呀,我地會盡力做返好 
3.
有架有架,跟緊架啦 

住就要同佢講一輪唔撚那更既野啦,包括梁振英施政,雙非孕婦,Chanel no.5邊度有得賣,Hermes新一季有咩新款,D自由行好貴乞人憎,然後就要乞求佢話呀Jolly姐,我地今晚呢係邊度邊度有個dating喎,不如 你考慮下有無興趣黎呀,如果有既話我可以安排一下,而通常佢都係話無架喎,但佢又唔係真係唔會黎架喎,因為通常係開始之前既半個鐘度啦,佢就會話自己咁岩 係附近同friend食完飯無野做好得閒咁又咁岩諗起我地公司,於是就會賞面光臨

話說事頭婆送俾Jolly姐個plan我地公司裡面俗稱叫廚房plan,喻意sit灶啦,係專比d萬年老姑婆用,亦因為個plan咁撚強橫,Jolly姐亦得以橫行曬係幾乎我地公司既所有佢合資格既dating裡面 

多人果d我都由佢,佢老母系有時三對三咁佢又要叉隻腳,屌佢咩,咪變左唔對稱囉,搞到我地成日被人嘈,但又有乜計,佢癲架嘛 

如是者搞左好似都有成半年有多,我果排真係生不如死,後尾終於有一位阿生打救左我,我真係到依家都好感激佢,而佢亦都係我人生裡面其中一個最撚佩服既男人

話說果日我又乞求到Jolly姐賞面光臨,咁我通常都會成隻狗咁係門口度heheheahea咁恭迎佢,而佢條仆街亦都會好準時咁遲到半粒鐘 

咁果日係一個比較多人既event黎,即係會有MC玩下game然後輪盤咁換台果d 
咁呀Jolly姐去到之後人地就玩緊game架啦,佢老母臭系真係無句好口,一入到摺一聲,仲要摺到好撚大聲,然後話:咦,咁鬼多人,污煙瘴氣 

嘩屌,我真係想兜巴昇柒佢老母臭系,即係我已經唔介意被佢當狗咁屌,但係佢咁樣真係好影響其他人,最緊要係好影響到我份工呀嘛 

咁人地玩緊game,佢講完句野又唔郁又唔剩,企撚左係度扭下扭下咁,老母系呀,佢拮起條尾我都知佢想點啦,咁我點呀,咪九秒九咁衝過去話呀Jolly姐,大家玩緊game喎,不如你都黎玩吓啦 

唉玩就玩啦,無無聊聊咁 

我果陣開始有D明白點解古時D太監大部份都心理變態,即係如果我日日都要服侍個咁撚西既女人呢,我真係遲早痴線,但係係果晚,我人生迎黎左轉機,因為係果晚,有個男人,呀,唔係,係男神,打撚左Jolly姐一巴,係,係兜巴車左落去佢老母系塊面度 

陣我記得應該係玩到ice breaking差唔多最後一隻game,咁隻game係有少少身體接觸既,真係好少好少揸下手仔咁上下架咋,但係你知Jolly姐係幾咁身嬌肉貴架啦, 咁其實當我醒起run到呢隻game果陣,我都哎呀左一聲,個心仔都啵啵咁跳望撚實呀Jolly姐大佬保你大唔好又搞事 

咁話說呀Jollypartner,就係果位男人中既男人,咁Jolly姐都係扭扭拎拎掂下手仔又喂又剩啦,跟住呀男神生呢,嘩,佢一野fing開左Jolly姐隻手仔,然後好撚不羈咁屌左一聲:麻撚煩 

我果下真係媽大口呆撚左,你地明唔明果種又好撚開心但係又好撚擔心既既感覺? 

但係,但係咩呢,我果吓我望到呀Jolly姐個樣真係呢,佢直程係嬲到我見到佢額頭d青筋係跳下跳下咬撚牙根條頸果d筋呀乜撚都出曬黎好似就黎要爆咁,跟住佢果隻指住呀男神生既手指震下震下咁,嘩你知唔知我果個moment幾撚驚?

你講咩呀 

Jolly
姐指撚住呀男神生黎屌,已經係全場人望到實一實,我聽到Jolly姐係嬲到聲都變撚埋,但係呀男神生係理都無撚理過佢 

然後呀Jolly姐就開始控制唔到自己啦,我真係唔知佢黎緊MM都無撚得黎,佢癲到捉撚住人地隻手用手指篤撚住人地下巴人地塊面黎屌,我諗果下Jolly姐應該有諗過將呀男神生分屍 

跟住就黎上帝顯靈既一幕啦,其實我個人黎講啦就唔同意打女人,咁但係呢如果係話有條友咁撚沙poJolly姐都夠膽打既話,咁又唔撚同喎 

話說呀男神生被呀Jolly姐捉住黎屌之後,電光火石間佢一巴車左落去Jolly姐塊面度,我諗果個moment情況真係好撚危急,如果唔係呀男神生係唔會一巴打到呀Jolly姐連塊面D粉飛出黎 

之後發生既事我唔係好記得啦,因為果一巴之後我係成個都進入了一種恍恍惚惚既狀態,我淨係記得呀男神生好撚瀟灑頭也不回咁攞袋走左,然後呀MC係被塊面被Jolly姐刮左幾下既同時攔住左佢無搞出人命 

然後你估Jolly姐點呀......

未完!格式所限,按此 >>繼續收看《做過婚姻介紹中心,先明白有d女係傻架》 (三)

相關連結

Array ( [0] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 40歲歌手被封為「世紀賤男」 星途無望轉行送外賣!吳家樂爆其生活窮困潦倒:執菜頭菜尾維生 [articleId] => 20060911 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20060911/%E6%AD%B2%E6%AD%8C%E6%89%8B%E8%A2%AB%E5%B0%81%E7%82%BA-%E4%B8%96%E7%B4%80%E8%B3%A4%E7%94%B7-%E6%98%9F%E9%80%94%E7%84%A1%E6%9C%9B%E8%BD%89%E8%A1%8C%E5%81%9A%E9%80%81%E5%A4%96%E8%B3%A3-%E5%90%B3%E5%AE%B6%E6%A8%82%E7%88%86%E5%85%B6%E7%94%9F%E6%B4%BB%E7%AA%AE%E5%9B%B0%E6%BD%A6%E5%80%92-%E5%9F%B7%E8%8F%9C%E9%A0%AD%E8%8F%9C%E5%B0%BE%E7%B6%AD%E7%94%9F ) [1] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 全球十日內10宗6級以上地震!台灣風險攀升專家籲隨身帶1件救命物品 [articleId] => 20061090 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20061090/%E6%97%A5%E5%85%A7%E5%85%A8%E7%90%83-%E7%B4%9A%E4%BB%A5%E4%B8%8A%E5%9C%B0%E9%9C%87%E6%9A%B4%E5%A2%9E-%E5%80%8D-%E5%8F%B0%E7%81%A3%E9%A2%A8%E9%9A%AA%E6%81%90%E6%94%80%E5%8D%87%E5%B0%88%E5%AE%B6-%E9%9A%A8%E8%BA%AB%E5%B8%B6-%E4%BB%B6%E6%95%91%E5%91%BD%E7%89%A9 ) [2] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 九龍塘現「天價」福州炒飯!炒飯可樂連茶位埋單三位數!網民錯重點:可樂有冇分別先? [articleId] => 20059798 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20059798/%E4%B9%9D%E9%BE%8D%E5%A1%98%E7%8F%BE-%E5%A4%A9%E5%83%B9-%E7%A6%8F%E5%B7%9E%E7%82%92%E9%A3%AF-%E7%82%92%E9%A3%AF%E5%8F%AF%E6%A8%82%E9%80%A3%E8%8C%B6%E4%BD%8D%E5%9F%8B%E5%96%AE%E9%81%8E%E4%B8%89%E4%BD%8D%E6%95%B8-%E7%B6%B2%E6%B0%91%E9%8C%AF%E9%87%8D%E9%BB%9E-%E5%8F%AF%E6%A8%82%E4%BF%82%E5%92%AA%E5%94%94%E5%90%8C%E5%95%B2 ) [3] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 七師傅又中!神預測緬甸大地震、韓國嚴重山火!最新預言四月份3地方會出大事:建議大家避免前往 [articleId] => 20060773 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20060773/%E4%B8%83%E5%B8%AB%E5%82%85%E5%8F%88%E4%B8%AD-%E7%A5%9E%E9%A0%90%E6%B8%AC%E7%B7%AC%E7%94%B8%E5%A4%A7%E5%9C%B0%E9%9C%87-%E9%9F%93%E5%9C%8B%E5%9A%B4%E9%87%8D%E5%B1%B1%E7%81%AB-%E6%9C%80%E6%96%B0%E9%A0%90%E8%A8%80%E5%9B%9B%E6%9C%88%E4%BB%BD-%E5%9C%B0%E6%96%B9%E6%9C%83%E5%87%BA%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%8B-%E5%BB%BA%E8%AD%B0%E5%A4%A7%E5%AE%B6%E9%81%BF%E5%85%8D%E5%89%8D%E5%BE%80 ) [4] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 麥當勞經典角色出Minecraft版公仔! $45巨無霸餐送M記模型盲盒+遊戲角色外觀 [articleId] => 20060749 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/activity/detail/20060749/%E9%BA%A5%E7%95%B6%E5%8B%9E%E7%B6%93%E5%85%B8%E8%A7%92%E8%89%B2%E5%87%BAminecraft%E7%89%88%E5%85%AC%E4%BB%94-%E5%B7%A8%E7%84%A1%E9%9C%B8%E9%A4%90%E9%80%81m%E8%A8%98%E6%A8%A1%E5%9E%8B%E7%9B%B2%E7%9B%92-%E9%81%8A%E6%88%B2%E8%A7%92%E8%89%B2%E5%A4%96%E8%A7%80 ) )

↓【限時搶⚡】原箱高鈣梳打餅↓

↓黑芝麻 / 芥末味|口感香脆、高鈣健康↓

↓黑芝麻 / 芥末味|口感香脆、高鈣健康↓

【社群送禮🌸】送您麒麟一番搾啤酒及「和風櫻花禮品套裝」!

↓簡單一步登記贏禮物!↓

↓簡單一步登記贏禮物!↓

Array ( [0] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 40歲歌手被封為「世紀賤男」 星途無望轉行送外賣!吳家樂爆其生活窮困潦倒:執菜頭菜尾維生 [articleId] => 20060911 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20060911/%E6%AD%B2%E6%AD%8C%E6%89%8B%E8%A2%AB%E5%B0%81%E7%82%BA-%E4%B8%96%E7%B4%80%E8%B3%A4%E7%94%B7-%E6%98%9F%E9%80%94%E7%84%A1%E6%9C%9B%E8%BD%89%E8%A1%8C%E5%81%9A%E9%80%81%E5%A4%96%E8%B3%A3-%E5%90%B3%E5%AE%B6%E6%A8%82%E7%88%86%E5%85%B6%E7%94%9F%E6%B4%BB%E7%AA%AE%E5%9B%B0%E6%BD%A6%E5%80%92-%E5%9F%B7%E8%8F%9C%E9%A0%AD%E8%8F%9C%E5%B0%BE%E7%B6%AD%E7%94%9F ) [1] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 全球十日內10宗6級以上地震!台灣風險攀升專家籲隨身帶1件救命物品 [articleId] => 20061090 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20061090/%E6%97%A5%E5%85%A7%E5%85%A8%E7%90%83-%E7%B4%9A%E4%BB%A5%E4%B8%8A%E5%9C%B0%E9%9C%87%E6%9A%B4%E5%A2%9E-%E5%80%8D-%E5%8F%B0%E7%81%A3%E9%A2%A8%E9%9A%AA%E6%81%90%E6%94%80%E5%8D%87%E5%B0%88%E5%AE%B6-%E9%9A%A8%E8%BA%AB%E5%B8%B6-%E4%BB%B6%E6%95%91%E5%91%BD%E7%89%A9 ) [2] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 九龍塘現「天價」福州炒飯!炒飯可樂連茶位埋單三位數!網民錯重點:可樂有冇分別先? [articleId] => 20059798 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20059798/%E4%B9%9D%E9%BE%8D%E5%A1%98%E7%8F%BE-%E5%A4%A9%E5%83%B9-%E7%A6%8F%E5%B7%9E%E7%82%92%E9%A3%AF-%E7%82%92%E9%A3%AF%E5%8F%AF%E6%A8%82%E9%80%A3%E8%8C%B6%E4%BD%8D%E5%9F%8B%E5%96%AE%E9%81%8E%E4%B8%89%E4%BD%8D%E6%95%B8-%E7%B6%B2%E6%B0%91%E9%8C%AF%E9%87%8D%E9%BB%9E-%E5%8F%AF%E6%A8%82%E4%BF%82%E5%92%AA%E5%94%94%E5%90%8C%E5%95%B2 ) [3] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 七師傅又中!神預測緬甸大地震、韓國嚴重山火!最新預言四月份3地方會出大事:建議大家避免前往 [articleId] => 20060773 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/topic/detail/20060773/%E4%B8%83%E5%B8%AB%E5%82%85%E5%8F%88%E4%B8%AD-%E7%A5%9E%E9%A0%90%E6%B8%AC%E7%B7%AC%E7%94%B8%E5%A4%A7%E5%9C%B0%E9%9C%87-%E9%9F%93%E5%9C%8B%E5%9A%B4%E9%87%8D%E5%B1%B1%E7%81%AB-%E6%9C%80%E6%96%B0%E9%A0%90%E8%A8%80%E5%9B%9B%E6%9C%88%E4%BB%BD-%E5%9C%B0%E6%96%B9%E6%9C%83%E5%87%BA%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%8B-%E5%BB%BA%E8%AD%B0%E5%A4%A7%E5%AE%B6%E9%81%BF%E5%85%8D%E5%89%8D%E5%BE%80 ) [4] => stdClass Object ( [title] => 麥當勞經典角色出Minecraft版公仔! $45巨無霸餐送M記模型盲盒+遊戲角色外觀 [articleId] => 20060749 [permalink] => https://hk.ulifestyle.com.hk/activity/detail/20060749/%E9%BA%A5%E7%95%B6%E5%8B%9E%E7%B6%93%E5%85%B8%E8%A7%92%E8%89%B2%E5%87%BAminecraft%E7%89%88%E5%85%AC%E4%BB%94-%E5%B7%A8%E7%84%A1%E9%9C%B8%E9%A4%90%E9%80%81m%E8%A8%98%E6%A8%A1%E5%9E%8B%E7%9B%B2%E7%9B%92-%E9%81%8A%E6%88%B2%E8%A7%92%E8%89%B2%E5%A4%96%E8%A7%80 ) )