對個男仔講「傻瓜」,殺傷力一定大過叫BB或豬豬

文:
2016.01.21

 文:藍橘子


 
「傻瓜」呢個詞彙好神奇,明明係一個貶義詞黎。
但若果一個男仔對個女仔做咗一件事,然後個女仔同佢講:「傻瓜~」
喺個男仔腦海入面,呢兩個字就同「我鍾意你~」無分別!
 
而男仔為咗聽呢兩個字,就會好似撞邪咁做出好多傻事。記得以前中學,我為咗追同班一個女仔,日日都買早餐,晨咁早喺個女仔屋企附近個小巴站等佢出現。
 
「乜你住附近咩?」
「唔係啊,我特登搭車過黎,順手買埋早餐囉…」
「傻瓜~」
 
就係呢一句傻瓜,我就認為自己得米。對於男仔黎講,傻瓜、傻佬~係最無免疫能力!我足足買咗成個月早餐,每日都早一粒鐘起身去搵佢。但最後我都無同個女仔一齊…佢好婉轉咁叫我唔洗再買早餐,因為朝早食唔落太多嘢。
 
但無幾耐,我就見到佢拎住兩份粢飯,喺最近學校個地鐵站等個男仔一齊返學…嗰一刻,我先從傻瓜咒語入面清醒返。
 
所以我希望各位女仔,如果對個男仔毫無感覺,又覺得佢好蠢…可以直接講「死蠢」、「白痴」、好聽點叫「傻仔」,都千祈唔好叫傻瓜。否則好容易令人誤會。
 
男女雙方喺唔同階段就會有唔同稱呼,熱戀期情侶會將對方個名變成疊字、仲會叫BB、豬豬…肉麻啲會以兩公婆相稱,或者再喺後面加多個B字或豬字!好多唔同組合。相處耐咗,稱呼就會加個貶義詞,例如衰婆、死婆、死佬、衰人…
 
就代表住我已經瞭解到你幾「衰」,但我都會同你喺埋一齊。而好多結咗婚有小朋友嘅夫婦,會叫對方做爹地、媽咪~
 
經過我多年黎用精密儀器測量,臨床心理學分析,後現代哲學理論解剖,其實叫乜先最啱聽,都係睇吓出自邊個把口,如果係一個佢鍾意嘅男仔。叫佢衰婆定傻婆…都一樣咁sweet sweet。
 
「唔知我哋老咗會叫對方乜呢?」女朋友問我。
 
「唔知喎,稱呼點變都無所謂啦,個心唔變咪得囉。」
 
「啱!所以我都會叫你做白痴仔~」女友小豆成日都會叫我白痴仔,然後嘻嘻嘻咁笑…

 

本篇圖文獲作者藍橘子授權刊登,未經准許,請勿轉載!

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