(老實)我鍾意同女朋友傾電話多過whatsapp…

文:
2016.02.05

文:藍橘子

 

同女朋友小豆兩個人,前世都唔知係咪啞,一見面就總有講不完嘅話題,雞啄唔斷,亦可能因為傾計太多,女朋友太熟悉我講嘢語氣,或者個腦諗緊乜,有時會好似唱雙簧咁,同時間講咗某句嘢出黎。
 
有時講到第二句,佢已經估到我想講乜,繼而向我反白眼,或者笑到彎晒身。
 
我本身係一個星爺迷,對話中成日都夾雜電影對白,有次我話:
「七孔流血還七孔流血,死還死,兩回事黎千祈唔好混淆!」
之後我考佢呢句對白喺邊度黎,佢諗都唔諗就答:「周星馳囉…唔通梁朝偉咩!」
「……」
「咁你無得同我架FC鬥啊鬥啊鬥啊鬥啊鬥啊…呢?」
「周星馳!」
「錯,係陳冠希。」
「…」
 
呢種對話上嘅默契,絕對唔能夠由whatsapp可以培養出黎。所以同女朋友拍拖到而家,都好鍾意傾電話,除非真係好忙,如果唔係都好少去用Whatsapp溝通,就算係一句好短嘅問題:「今晚食飯喺邊度等?」我都會打電話畀女朋友,傾兩句計,當係一個減壓運動。
 
我公司棟樓電話接收好差,一定要行落樓下先可以講到電話,而公司樓下最多嘅…就係圍住個垃圾桶煲煙提神嘅打工仔。人地叼住支煙,我就拎住個電話,一樣都有提神功用,仲有益健康添~
 
此外,睇達哥打機睇得太多,有時腦海會出現佢把聲。而每次睇見女朋友whatsapp訊息,望住啲字就會自然諗到佢講呢句嘢嘅語氣,直頭有聲有畫面,就連表情符號都會變做佢個樣,喺腦海浮現出黎。
 
有次放工搭緊巴士,佢突然間用錄音Whatsapp我,平時我哋有乜事都盡量傾電話,好少用錄音,所以我就即刻聽吓咩事,點知…佢話…
 
「我哋玩個遊戲,我扮一種動物叫,你估,然後就輪到你扮!」
 
我都未拒絕佢,佢就已經send咗段豬叫畀我。
不過我又係衰,我好雀躍咁答咗:「豬!」
點知…就中咗女朋友嘅計!!
 
「啱喇!到你扮~」就係呢一句,呢個遊戲就永無止境咁開始咗,whatsapp變成動物園對話,狗同貓講嘢,羊又同牛對話…
「你咁鍾意藍鯨,不如你扮佢叫啦!」
「藍鯨點叫啊話時話…」
「係喎我都唔知~」
 
呢個遊戲,就喺我聽到身後有好大聲「滋」一聲,有人忍唔住笑咗出黎。我先意識到…自己喺巴士上層有幾投入去扮動物叫…
 
當時我腦海突然彈咗一個畫面,喺youtube上見到我喺巴士不斷扮動物叫,標題係『為氹港女男朋友扮狗』遊戲只好暫停。
我打電話去同女朋友講,叫佢小心唔好咁大聲,佢話:「吓我一早返到屋企,乜你仲喺巴士咩…哈哈哈白痴仔!」
 
「……」所以話呢,如果同女朋友傾電話,就唔會發生呢個誤會。
 
女朋友經常會創作一個白痴遊戲,好似『喺街扮唔識相遇』、『如果我係你個妹』、『試吓男女身分交換』,但我又總係好投入咁去玩,因為佢係我女朋友,佢唔會笑我,同佢玩我都好開心。(有人想知點玩再講)
 
女朋友就係一種令你撞邪嘅生物。
 

(老老實實,我知鯨魚識唱歌,但有冇人知藍鯨點叫?) 

 

本篇圖文獲作者藍橘子授權刊登,未經准許,請勿轉載!

藍橘子Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/BlueGodZi/ 

 

作者其他文章:

>>右手係我女朋友 

>>(真人真事)千祈唔好畀女友著和服!因為佢會覺得自己好靚! 

>>(真人真事)千祈唔好帶女友去環影影城!因為佢會當自己係小朋友! 

>>對個男仔講「傻瓜」,殺傷力一定大過叫BB或豬豬

 

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